Growing Baby T

22 week letter

2009-10-27T16:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Peanut,

Well, it's confirmed x 3. You are my precious little GIRL. I'm so excited, I really am...which is not to say that had you flashed us male parts that I wouldn't be excited, but if you want to know the truth, I really wanted a girl. So did your dad. This isn't to say we won't try to give you a baby brother someday, but we definitely had visions of having a daughter.

I find I can't look too far ahead because picturing you as a teenager scares the bejeebus out of me. We see all the scantily dressed high schoolers on their way to school every morning and it's terrifying to the point that if you came trouncing in wearing short shorts and UGG boots, your dad might have a coronary. I'm not kidding.

So I'll put blinders onto the fact that one day you'll be that age and concentrate on what a sweet little baby you will be. How it's almost inevitable you'll have dark brown hair and a toss up for your eye color. I can picture you with your hair long, playing at the park. I can't wait to hold you and read you stories and build forts with you.

I'm feeling you move and kick more and more. You have a particular interest in my right hip bone. It doesn't move, by the way. You seem to love early evenings and like your momma, you could do without early mornings. You're a very active little squirt. Everyone who's tried to get a heartbeat reading or done an ultrasound has said so. You also seem to have a lot of personality. You have a stubborn streak that can be blamed on your Irish heritage (your dad) or me. It's probably me. I can be pretty bull-headed, if that's the correct animal affiliation.

We took you to your first sporting events this month--two basketball games and a hockey game! Lucky you. I think all the noise at the WNBA Finals game (Mercury won!) definitely disturbed you. I blame the 12-year-old satan child in front of us who constantly smacked the inflatable noisemakers together. You were rolling around a lot that game. Same for the Coyotes game. We took it as a good sign, though if you had started punching at the left side of my belly toward where Uncle Philip was sitting, we could have confirmed in utero that you have good team loyalty. (Actually, you just started doing your wild speed boxing move into that side as I type!)

We're two weeks past my scary fruit comparison and you're still growing strong. The ultrasound tech estimated you to be almost a pound and you should be about 11 inches at this point. You're about the size of an over-inflated football. Alternatively, you're the size of a spaghetti squash. Now, I'm not familiar with that particular kind of squash, but let me tell you, it's a heck of a lot bigger than a quarter and infinitely bigger than your poppy seed beginnings. Admittedly, the watermelon comparison frightens me...a lot, but I want you to keep on growing and packing on the pounds, kiddo. We still have some important milestones to hit over the next few weeks.

Oh, and your nursery is freshly painted with new floors. Also, you have more clothes than me and you're not even born yet.

I love you.

Love,
Mommy

21 weeks!

2009-10-20T09:42:00.000-07:00

What's going on with Kaelyn: Baby's digestive system is busy creating meconium (a tarry black substance made of swallowed amniotic fluid, digestive secretion, and dead cells), which will fill the first diaper after birth. And, if baby is a girl, her womb is now stocked up with her lifetime supply of six million eggs (the number will drop to around one million by birth).

Your baby is now busy putting fat onto those tiny bones. Most likely, you have felt his or her in-utero gymnastics by now, since lots of amniotic fluid provides plenty of room to move. Fetuses have sleep and wake cycles, and you may find that these get more predictable as the months progress. But they may not coincide with yours: Babies in the womb are typically active in the late evening, just when Mom is trying to get to sleep.

How far along? 21 weeks

How big is baby? I went with the guy-friendly size comparison this week. Little girl is about the length of a beer bottle, head to rump. The fruit/vegetable comparisons are a banana and a carrot.

Sleep: I have my days where I'm really energetic and others where I need more rest. I definitely need a full-night's sleep if I can manage it though..and I'd take more.

Best moment this week: Getting the nursery completely painted and the floors in.

Movement: Every day!

Food cravings: My appetite isn't as ravenous as it was a few weeks ago and no big cravings right now. If anything, grilled sandwiches, but that's not unusual for me. Potatoes are still wonderful.

Gender: Girl! (Unless we're told otherwise on Friday)

Belly Button in or out? In. Belly continues to make its presence known. I've gotten some "Woah" reactions from people this week.

What I miss: I'll admit it. I want me some coffee.

What I am looking forward to: Seeing Kaelyn on Friday! Spa day w/ the hubs for our anniversary! 85 minute massage for him, 55 minute pre-natal massage plus a 55 minute pre-natal facial for moi. I think we both need it.

Milestones: Daily movement (she seems to be most active around 7pm), 2 weeks without morning sickness ::knocks on wood repeatedly:: Morning sickness has been replaced by drop-of-a-hat-tears. Stupid things make me want to cry. We also scheduled some prenatal classes, including our hospital tour!

Weekly Wisdom: Pregnancy brain is frightening--keep a calendar w/ reminders.

18 week letter

2009-10-01T15:55:00.001-07:00

Dear Peanut,

So I haven't written, but my goodness have I been thinking about you. It's hard not to. Everything seems to revolve around you and our future with you. It's easy to have tunnel vision. So much has happened. We've seen you 3 more times, which has been amazing. You're a wiggle worm and you don't sit still! Some of the big news is that you have a name! (We considered keeping "Peanut," but I'm not sure you would appreciate it.) So Miss Kaelyn Evangeline, we are so excited to be expecting you.

Obviously you're a girl, though don't expect too much girly stuff in your wardrobe. We won't be strapping huge bows to your head, though I do like those ruffle butt shorts. I don't know why, but I find them precious on little diapered baby butts. I don't like purple so your estrogen-infusion will likely be pink, but I suspect your wardrobe will primarily be gender neutral and hockey-themes. Hopefully you'll like hockey and get your daddy's sense of balance. Your momma isn't known for her gracefulness, that's for sure.

Now, your name is special to us because you're named after both of your grandmas. My mom's middle name is Kay and your dad's mom's name is Linda so we combined these and just changed the spelling a little. We just loved your middle name from the first time we heard it (specifically in a British accent on Nanny McPhee). Kaelyn Evangeline...it's a very sweet sounding name. Deceiving considering we goofily dream of you being the first starting female NHL goalie. No pressure.

We're already talking about your future, what schools you'll attend, and how we want to be sure we travel with you and give you those life experiences. We're definitely planners. We want the world for you.

It's so fun getting to know you, even before we really do. Like I said, you're so active. Even the doctor yesterday commented on this. You don't stay in one place. Most babies just chill out in the womb, but not you. You're doing somersaults and testing your boundaries. I am just starting to be able to feel this. I can feel little tapping and sometimes I swear I feel the whirling effect of you flipping. You seem to have personality already. You like to look directly at the camera as though you're staring us down and at one point, you made binoculars out of your little hands. You also like to moon us. What a little booger you are already. That would be your dad's influence. Another thing is that you don't seem to like mornings and that's how I know we share the same DNA. I don't blame you, I really don't, but your dislike of mornings make my mornings much tougher to deal with.

On that note, I must add this plea: Kiddo, I have been nauseous for over 11 weeks now. This was supposed to end after 1st trimester. That was 6 weeks ago. I know I like to take my time and not be rushed so I imagine you're the same way, but seriously? Give your poor momma a break.

So there's a lot going on here in the outside world. We're changing out the flooring in the bedrooms so your nursery will have new floors very soon. Goodbye yucky carpet! By "we" I mean your dad, grandpa, and uncle, of course. I think I'll put another coat of paint on your walls and get some other things done while they work. We're also celebrating our 1 year anniversary this month by having a spa day and going out for dinner. Holidays are coming up quick too! I'm excited to decorate for Christmas, but I'm not sure how early I could get away with setting them up. Perhaps November. October would be pushing it.

Well I hope you're finding Momma's belly nice and comfy. Stay put and keep growing. I love you.

Love,
Mommy

I feel like Stretch Armstrong

2009-08-31T16:31:00.000-07:00

except that the only part that feels like it's being stretched is my uterus. My uterus and the pathetic excuse for muscles around it. Holy crap. Peanut must be going through a growth spurt!

Belated 13 week photo

2009-08-31T11:10:00.000-07:00

Taken at 13 weeks, 4 days. Am I glowing? Because it's probably sweat. Summer in Arizona, what else would you expect? Had first appointment w/ my actual OB. Peanut had a heart rate of 150-ish and was back on the left side. S/he is sure switching back and forth a lot! I can't wait to actually feel it!

13 week letter (a couple days early)

2009-08-24T09:23:00.000-07:00

Hi Sweetie,

Yes, I know the letters have been few and far between. I haven't been feeling particularly great lately, but I do believe we are turning a corner, my little Peanut. We're now in the 2nd trimester, which is supposedly the "honeymoon of pregnancy." Let's hope so, if you're wanting any siblings. I'm not gonna lie, 1st trimester was miserable enough to have me thinking of making you our one and only. I believe this is when the amnesia that strikes all women starts and I'll forget all of the nausea, all of the days where I literally felt like I was turning green at the gills. The amnesia is necessary for them to willingly sign up for it all again, but don't get me wrong. It's all worth it for you. Really. I know I am unbelievably blessed to be having you. I won't forget that.

So this week you're pretty much done developing your major organs, which is the reason for the balancing of hormones and me feeling a bit better. There's less demand on me. Hopefully my energy will return soon too. We've got miles and miles of walking to do at Disneyland in a couple weeks, Kid. There's some pretty delicious food in the bargain if you're good. (Let's face it, there's some delicious food in the bargain even if you're not.) You're also about the size of a peach and you're growing quickly! It's surreal to think you were once the size of a poppy seed and you're going to be the size of a watermelon by the time you're born. Oddly enough, the fruit comparison that frightens me the most is not the pumpkin or even the watermelon. It's the cantaloupe. Perhaps because it's so much closer to where I am now and my mind cannot fathom my tummy expanding to accomodate either of the other two so I happily cover my ears and shake my head in denial.

I think pregnancy teaches patience. We had to wait 5 weeks to get confirmation from the doctor that you were real after finding out I was pregnant. From then, we have to wait upwards from 9-10 weeks before finding out if you're a boy or a girl. At our first appointment, we got to see your heartbeat, but we didn't get to hear it, so your impatient momma rented a home doppler so we could. You were too low in my belly at first, but it's gotten pretty easy to find you...until you start squirming, that is. Your heartrate has been strong and fast since the beginning. You've stayed pretty close to the high 170s. It's been really reassuring to be able to plop the little wand on my belly and find you. Moms worry. It's a fact of life. Hearing that whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, has really been awesome.

The next milestone is feeling you move and kick. I can hardly wait.

I love you, little one. With all my heart.

Love,
Mommy

We own a stroller. Wooooah.

2009-08-18T12:24:00.000-07:00

So we made our first BIG Peanut purchase. After a trip to BRU to shop for Carrie's baby shower on the 30th, we took a look at the strollers. Admittedly, this was not our first stroller shopping experience, evident by the fact that I immediately went to my selection and Brady went to his. We even had a battle of the strollers literally in the aisle, which basically had us ramming into the other. Ultimately, we both are getting what we want. When we got home, I went online to see what kind of deals we could get and we compared our options. I stumbled upon diapers.com, which had the travel system I liked--Chicco Cortina Keyfit Travel System--marked down from $299 to 258 on sale. They also offered a 10% off coupon for new customers and I got free shipping. This is a smoking deal considering the carseat normally goes for $170-180 on its own and the stroller separately is about the same. So, what was $299 at BRU, we got for $233 shipped. Not too shabby.

This is also the color we ended up with--it's called Adventure. I liked the blue Coventry one I saw online, but it wasn't being offered at the sale price. It's a really nice looking stroller (BRU had the stroller in the color we bought) and we're really happy with our purchase. The car seat has top safety ratings, the handle on the stroller is nice and high and super comfy, and there really wasn't anything bad we could say about it.

We're going to check out Kid to Kid for some joggers, but otherwise $100 isn't bad at all.

I. am. exhausted.

2009-08-14T08:43:00.000-07:00

Thus the reason for no letters in a couple weeks, but we were able to pick up the h/b on the doppler last night! Still fast at about 180 bpm. Woah kiddo!

Milestone?

2009-07-30T11:08:00.000-07:00

I threw up at work for the first time. I still feel horrible. I want a crap and a nap and to be home in my own bed. Oh yes, and for today to be Friday so I can sleep in tomorrow.

I sooo can't wait for the "honeymoon" stage of pregnancy. Please let me experience it.

9 week letter

2009-07-29T13:35:00.001-07:00

Dear Peanut,

You do exist! We finally got to see you on Tuesday and I think it's starting to feel real. You seemed to be snoozing, nestled against me, but that little heart of yours was beating so fast! That's all I really wanted to see. That beautiful heartbeat of yours. The only thing that would have made it better would have been hearing it, but they didn't have sound hooked up. We did get some great pictures though. I like to gaze at them and marvel in the fact that you really are growing into a little person in my belly.

You're almost an inch long now, just about the size of a green olive. I like to refer to you as our little Godard baby. Your dad and I bought a piece of artwork on our honeymoon cruise by Michael Godard, who does most of his work involving green olives, so it's a particularly endearing nickname to us. You're also officially a FETUS this week, having graduated from your status as an embryo. This is a huge deal. The next milestone is 2nd tri. Let's get there quick, okay kiddo? If you'd like to ease up on the nausea and morning sickness before then, it'd be fantastic. Your poor mom is having a hard time right now. You hate anything dry so snack type foods like crackers aren't appetizing in the least. You like real food like your momma, but after just a couple bites, you're done. I've learned that the hard way when I'm tried to continue eating. My list of food aversions is growing. I knew you didn't like orange juice, but even oranges taste like toothpaste. Actually everything tastes different now. It's like my sense of smell and taste are heightened, but it's not all that enjoyable.

Another big thing happening this week is that we're starting to tell people about you. My mom, your Nana, is the first on our list due to scheduling issues. We wanted to tell her and your Grandad at the same time, but that just wasn't happening because he was flying out of town to work on his plane. That'll be fun. She'll be thrilled. We're also telling your dad's parents, Grandma and Grandpappy on Saturday. We also have some friends on our list to tell on Sunday. It'll be fun telling everyone and seeing their reactions. I'm preparing myself to have my belly manhandled. I'll try to keep from telling them it's fat/bloat and not actually you, but I can't make any promises.

I get the feeling this letter is kind of sloppily put together, but honestly kid, I'm exhausted. I jsut haven't felt well and haven't been sleeping well. You're so worth it, I know you'll show me this every single day once you're here, but it's a little rough right now. Despite the fact that you literally make me sick, I love you so much Peanut. Keep on growin', keep on growin'!

I love you.

Love,
Mommy

9 weeks!

2009-07-29T13:27:00.000-07:00

**Yeah, I'm far too lazy to post a picture. It's all bloat anyways.**

How far along? 9 weeks

How big is baby? About the size of an olive

Maternity clothes? Nope, but I really need to switch to dresses and skirts. It's not very comfortable having a waistband.

Stretch marks? Nothing new.

Sleep: I. am. exhausted. Unfortunately I've had so many odd, random, and not so great dreams that even when I sleep it's not for very long. Plus it hasn't been very comfortable to sleep. My stomach seems to act up more at night.

Best moment this week: Seeing the heartbeat!

Movement: Lots, but I still won't be able to feel it for quite awhile yet.

Food cravings: Whatever will make me feel less nauseous. I'm having more aversions than cravings. Currently, I want that walnut shrimp at George's. I shall be getting it on Friday when we tell my mom!

Gender: Perhaps it's the OWT playing tricks on me, but I'm thinking girl.

Labor Signs: Nope.

Belly Button in or out? A bit shallower because of my extreme bloat, but still in.

What I miss: My energy, my brain cells, and not feeling nauseous 24/7. Yep, same as last week. All just about equally.

What I am looking forward to: Telling our parents this Friday and Saturday!

Weekly Wisdom: I have no wisdom this week. Peanut has stolen my wisdom. I'm now an idiot.

Milestones: Saw Peanut's beautiful heartbeat! 176 bpm!

First ultrasound!

2009-07-28T12:23:00.000-07:00

Meet Peanut :)

Everything's looking great, right on track. I think they're waiting for the doc to change the due date they have for me since I ovulated early. Peanut is looking very "peanut-like." I ended up having to do the dildo cam because I didn't guzzle enough water, but I knew it'd be a better picture anyways. The tech had the screen facing away from me while she did the measurements, but she did mention "strong heartbeat, just one..." I felt much better seeing Peanut for myself though. There wasn't volume though so we'll have to wait for next time. H/b was a strong 176 bpm!

This was definitely the best picture we got (she gave us 4) and we think that's Peanut's face bottom left. Am I crazy or is that a nose and a side profile? So cute! Gotta say, if it is, Peanut's neck seems to be bent in a very uncomfortable postion. Poor kid needs a pillow!

In 19 hours...

2009-07-27T13:55:00.000-07:00

we will get to see Peanut for the first time! I'm both nervous and excited, mainly excited. It feels like things are going well, considering I'm nauseous all day and have been getting sick, along with all the other symptoms. They're all still there, but it's impossible to feel 100% confident considering all the stories I hear about online.

Enough on that though. There is still the issue of doing a headcount, hehe

Oh yes and Peanut is ravenous. Nothing satisfies this kid. So far today, I have had:

2 Eggos
1 vanilla pudding cup
1 turkey and ham sandwich
1 medium sized salad
just ~~started~~ finished an oatmeal raisin cookie

It is 2pm. I believe I will have to bring Club crackers w/ salami from now on in addition to the other snacks. I'll weigh 500 lbs in no time.

The one where Krys gains 10 lbs in a week.

2009-07-24T15:28:00.000-07:00

I. am. hungry. constantly.

So far today I have consumed:

1 1/2 pieces of cinnamon raisin toast (it suddenly tasted horrible to me)
1 biscuit with gravy and a sausage patty
1 turkey and ham sandwich w/ cheese
1 cup of chicken salad on Wheat Thins

This is actually much better than yesterday when fast food chains ruled my nutritional intake.

You see, not only am I hungry, if I don't eat, I feel like I will hurl at any second. It's a horrible feeling. Don't get me wrong, the symptoms are reassuring so I don't want to sound unappreciative for being pregnant, but seriously! It's like watering a plant that's bone dry. You know how quickly water gets sucked into the soil? That's how it feels when I eat. The food gets sucked up and I'm starving again.

I also have been having a bit of difficulty with my bowels. Never terribly fun. It's a little better, but I think I'm still pretty backed up in there. Lovely.

Boobs are still sore with some lightning flash pains. Owwwie. My bras no longer fit. Not even the Jogbra.

I'm also exhausted. Last night I zonked out on the couch around 8:30. I still felt tired this morning. I've been dragging myself through today. I want to sleep.

I also want Taco Bell. First, I shall seduce DH, which shouldn't be too difficult. Jump him then ask for Americanized Mexican. What a night it shall be.

Sorry I'm basically just listing symptoms. My creativity left along with my brain cells.

T minus 5 days...well more like 4

2009-07-23T10:02:00.000-07:00

but who's counting? Well, yeah, I am :) I can hardly wait to see Peanut and his/her beautiful heartbeat...and also do a headcount because now I'm really curious. I drove to work today because DH is having dinner with a friend who's basically disappeared off the face of the planet for 2 years. DH has a lot to say to her about she and her husband not pulling that sort of crap again. Hopefully it goes well, but anyways, that's the reason I drove today, since he's having an early dinner with her so he's not picking me up as he normally does. I like to drive every once in a while. I talked to Peanut a lot. I'm finally starting to feel less nervous that something could go wrong especially because my symptoms are very much in full swing. I don't know, I just am feeling a cautious sense of well-being.

I can't wait to tell our parents. It's becoming increasingly difficult to keep it from my mom, who I of course, lunch with every day. The woman will be ecstatic. The issue is trying to tell them before my stepdad goes out of town sometime next week. I plan to angle it that DH's parents want everyone to go out to dinner, but I'm afraid my mom will call MIL and the cover will be blown. My mom is kind of odd about certain things--like if say, we just told her we want to go out to dinner with both sets of parents, she'd say they won't go so ILs can enjoy us. I'm thinking the whole thing is going to give us away if we emphasize that we want everybody there. I also don't want to have my stepdad be gone for 3 weeks and then he and my mom are going to Hawaii. I can't keep this secret any longer people and my mega-bloat is going to give me away sooner than later.

The original plan was to invite everybody over for a BBQ. Perfect, right? Nobody would think anything of it. I don't know, maybe we will have to tell them separately, but somebody's going to be told first. Hmm.

8 week letter

2009-07-22T10:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Peanut,

Wow. I can hardly believe I've known about you for just over 4 weeks now and we get to see you in 6 days. Sweetie, you have no idea how excited we are for that. We're still speculating about whether there's one or two, or God help me, three of you in there. That's mainly your dad's influence. He likes to make me panic thinking I'm going to carry a litter of babies and have my stomach be the size of a refrigerator.

You're looking more and more like a baby these days and you're wiggling your little feet and hands, still very slightly webbed. Your kidneys are now functioning and while after you're born, I'm sure there will be episodes of you peeing on me, right now, you're peeing inside of me. Gross, yes, but still pretty amazing considering you're only the size of a raspberry. While when I first found out about you, you were only a couple millimeters long, now you're growing by about a millimeter every day.

I believe I've found the solution for the nagging nausea that comes on randomly throughout the day. I eat constantly. That seems to keep you happy and the dry heaves at bay. Your pickiness when it comes to food seems to be more of a nuissance for your dad than me. Something can sound horrible one second and delicious the next. You seem to love meat, carbs, and melted cheese. You hate sweets, which definitely sounds like you take after me and not your dad on that preference. This is a wonderful thing that I have a temporary cure for the queasiness, however, I fear weighing 500 lbs by the time you're born.

I did, however, have my first bout of morning sickness this morning. Not fun, kid. Not fun at all. I now know where the so-called "pregnancy glow" comes from: Sweat. Now, if I may, can I ask you to take it easy on me during work hours? Nobody knows about you yet, but I'm afraid tossing my cookies into my trash can might give me away. Just a thought. I'll bribe you with cookies--er--nachos!

I also think you're doing cha-cha dances on my bladder at night because I have to get up at least once or twice a night. I think you're pretty busy while I'm sleeping (of course I can't feel it yet) because I wake up utterly exhausted and the stretching cramps are definitely worse in the morning. I'm hoping the soothing sounds of our sound soother will lull you to sleep even while you're still baking. Momma needs her sleep, dear one. Please oh please inherit my tendency to sleep like a log. Your dad is the lightest sleeper in history so while I would love for you to inherit any of his many wonderful traits, please take after your mommy on sleeping habits.

Speaking of your dad, he made up a mat for a picture frame for you, our little Avalanche babe. He was looking up things for you online over the weekend and came across this idea. Aw kid, you're already your dad's pride and joy.

Well, it's going to be such an exciting week waiting to see you and coming up with more finalized plans for telling your grandparents, uncles, aunts, etc. I love you, little one.

Love,
Mommy

8 weeks!

2009-07-22T08:26:00.001-07:00

**I have no bloat picture this morning, nor can I make any promises to a bloat picture coming at all this week. Besides the fact that I've lost my short-term memory, I have zero energy**

How far along? 8 weeks

How big is baby? About the size of a raspberry

Maternity clothes? Not yet, but I found a black skirt for work that will be very comfortable for my belly.

Stretch marks? Nothing new.

Sleep: I would sleep 16 hours a day if it were permissible. Unfortunately, with the dreams and general need to pee constantly, it's hard to get solid sleep.

Best moment this week: Actually getting to tell my dental hygienist Heather about being pregnant and relating to her about it.

Movement: Peanut's jumping and flipping like crazy, but alas, I cannot feel it.

Food cravings: Subway Italian sandwiches, cheeseburgers...my cravings change constantly. My food aversions list continues to grow.

Gender: At this particular moment, I kind of think boy, but I really have no idea.

Labor Signs: Nope.

Belly Button in or out? Maybe a little shallower from the bloat?

What I miss: My energy, my brain cells, and not feeling nauseous 24/7.

What I am looking forward to: First u/s in 6 days!!!

Weekly Wisdom: Keep the toilets clean. It's a little less revolting when you go to hurl into it.

Milestones: Threw up for the first time this morning. Lovely.

Dreaming of Peanut

2009-07-16T10:00:00.000-07:00

So last night I finally didn't have one of the disturbing and NBR dreams and actually dreamt of Peanut. I was unknowingly full-term, but only 20 weeks. Little Peanut was born big and healthy though. SHE had a good amount of dark hair, but not as much as me when I was born, big bright blue eyes. I remember being totally unprepared because we didn't expect her for another 5 months. I tried to breastfeed and was panicking: "I don't have a Boppy!" There was also a very strange clamping style of nipple protector. Ouch.

Oh yes, and her name was Kaelyn :)

M/S solution

2009-07-15T10:16:00.000-07:00

Eat. Eat constantly.

Carbs are my BFF. Yesterday, it was pancakes. This morning? Biscuit w/ gravy. Mmmmm..

I'm also sipping on a full-calorie Coke in hopes the carbonation eases the queasiness.

Much, much better.

7 weeks!

2009-07-15T09:13:00.000-07:00

**Bloat picture to come**

How far along? 7 weeks

How big is baby? About the size of a blueberry

Maternity clothes? Nope, but I'm seriously thinking of switching over to dresses. Anything with a waist band is seriously uncomfortable with this bloat.

Stretch marks? Nothing new.

Sleep: I adore sleep. It would help if I didn't have to get up to pee a few times a night and I didn't have all these vivid dreams, some really not pleasant at all.

Best moment this week: NBR, but my mom gave me a card, which made me feel better about some stuff from last week.

Movement: Wiggling is starting to happen, but I can't feel it of course.

Food cravings: Cheeseburgers, sub sandwiches, meat. My food aversions list is growing.

Gender: No inclination at the moment.

Labor Signs: Nope.

Belly Button in or out? Maybe a little shallower from the bloat?

What I miss: Still my brain cells. I'm now a moron. Also, my energy. I cleaned for 30 minutes and felt like I needed a nap

What I am looking forward to: First u/s in 13 days

Weekly Wisdom: Relax. Sleep. Don't push yourself too much. Oh yeah, and EAT. It makes the m/s a little less intense.

Milestones: First dry-heaving episode. Yeah, not fun.

7 week letter

2009-07-15T08:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Peanut,

7 weeks, kid. The time has gone surprisingly quickly, which is good considering how anxious your poor momma is for the first ultrasound. I know there will be more for us to see the longer we wait, but I'm not the most patient person in the world and of course I worry. This is probably the start to a never-ending pattern of worrying when it comes to you.

You're definitely getting bigger! You've doubled in size in a matter of a week and are about the size of a blueberry. Big things are happening too. You now have a permanent set of kidneys and both hemispheres of your brain are formed. You're generating about 100 new cells every minute--that's pretty impressive. Your arms and legs are starting to appear and you're getting joints, which will help you throw some hefty punches and kicks to keep me up at night in a few months.

The first ultrasound is in less than 2 weeks. Considering we've been waiting 3 weeks already, it feels a lot closer, but I'd very much like to sleep through the next 13 days. I don't think work would like that. The dogs would. They'd get to lounge around with me all day. I am exhausted. No amount of sleep is enough and I'm not sleeping well to boot. I could have easily stayed in bed this morning and still be asleep and it's lunchtime. I'm also facing the first of the infamous morning sickness--I've been queasy from day one, but now it's jumped up a few levels. It seems you make me pay if I don't keep feeding you...which is why I ate pancakes this morning. Wasn't that scrumptious? You seem to like 3 things: Carbs, meat, and salad. In fact, now I want a Subway BMT in the worst way. Mmmm.

This is probably a good time to let you know that you have dumbed down your poor mother. I have the dreaded pregnancy brain. It actually cracks your dad up. He finds the fact that I ask really airhead questions really amusing. For example, during the Homerun Derby this week, I asked what "T-O-T" stood for. He says "Total. And O-U-T-S stands for outs."

I've had 3 pregnancy-related dreams since actually being pregnant (that I can remember--as iI said, my brain can only hold so much these days). The first two were that you're actually twins, boy and a girl, which begs the question, who's "Peanut"? We'll figure that out if there are indeed two of you floating around in there. I had another dream last night where you were a girl, but it was when you were older and we were at Disneyworld with you. I decided not to let you go on Space Mountain because I wanted to protect you from being scared. So yes, babies on the brain and in the ute!

Oh and remember me mentioning Uncle Philip? He's moving out in 3 days! Yaaay! You'll love him, he's a hoot and a half. Oh and did I mention we get full access to his pool?

By the way, I might whine (and sometimes whimper) about pregnancy symptoms, but I secretly love that it reassures me that things are going well. I can't wait until you can do that on your own and I can feel you move and kick.

I love you, sweetie.

Love,
Mommy

First official...

2009-07-13T21:49:00.001-07:00

dry-heaving episode. It was about as fun as it sounds.

Exhausted.

Things Peanut likes to eat...

2009-07-13T13:50:00.000-07:00

-Salad. I practically had a foodgasm while devouring a simple romaine with cheese and crumbled tortilla chips (I prefer this to croutons) and ranch dressing.

-Cheeseburgers. Perhaps it's the protein?

-Subway. Italian BMT, toasted is beyond wonderful.

How do I know this? Because if I eat anything else, I get a huge stomach ache and feel generally disgusting and ready to vomit.

I think we picked a nursery theme!

2009-07-10T10:19:00.000-07:00

Last night we were sitting on our new couch (since Budaj destroyed the other one) and watching the coverage of Joe Sakic's retirement and the Pitchman tribute to Billy Mays. I was looking online for nursery ideas, as I am an obsessive planner. Once I have something resolved in my head, it's fine, but I need a plan. We had talked about an animal/jungle theme, hockey, beach/surf. I want desperately to keep the wall color. I'm sure I could get DH to repaint the room, but I'd rather not mess with it. I really do like the color. It's sort of a blueish green, very calming. So I turned to him and asked--"What about an Arctic theme?" You see, my DH is an amazing photographer and had taken some fantastic shots up in Alaska of Mendenhaal Glacier. I told him we can use his photographs and then add some of polar bear and penguins. We already have one gigantic polar bear stuffed animal we won at Dave & Busters. I told him we wouldn't really need themed bedding, just some solid colors that accent the walls.

His response? "Sold."

I don't think the idea had occured to him, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized it would really cut down on things we'd need to buy for the room. We already have the dressers to put in there. We need a crib and a recliner. The rest will just fill in. Pheewwww. Now I just need to find an adorable mobile :)

It was only a matter of time...

2009-07-10T09:43:00.000-07:00

Peanut wants salad. Thank GOD. I guess s/he could only take so much grease. A salad with some sort of hot grilled chicken sounds so unbelievably good right now. Too bad I brought leftover pizza for lunch. Perhaps I'll raid the salad bar in an hour and 15 minutes. Lettuce sounds absolutely scrumptious.

For the record, Peanut does not like sweets. At all. Not ice cream, not cookies, brownies, or cake. S/he does not like them in a park, s/he does not like them in the dark.

What a good baby.

6 week letter

2009-07-08T15:24:00.000-07:00

Dear Peanut,

I love the fact that you're now my little sweet pea, quite literally. You're still tiny, but you're growing fast. Right now, your facial features are forming, creating the beautiful little face I can't wait to kiss. Your little feet are still webbed, but they should start to wiggle soon.

It's been a good week, despite the fact that your canine sibling Budaj decided to retaliate against your daddy and rip a big hole in his side of the couch. It gave us an excuse to replace it and we got to shop for a recliner/rocker for your room in the process. Your daddy continues to talk to you and blow raspberries on my belly, claiming it's to tickle you. Yeah, I'm on to him. He kisses you goodnight every night and tells you he loves you. He has also taken to teasing me about there being multiple Peanuts. (You can tell me, do you have any friends in there?) I'm willing to bet if he turns out to be right, he's going to pass out at our first ultrasound. Of course, he'll love as many of you as there are, whether there be 1 or 18. (Yes, he suggested 18. I'm not gonna lie, the thought of 3 babies or more at one time makes me quiver in fear.)

Sleep seems to be all I want to do lately. You and I have had some nice little catnaps during lunchtime, but it never seems to be enough. It's okay though, I know it takes a lot of energy to do what you're doing.

I found some very cute clothes for you this week too. We've got a pretty good stash already. You won't be naked, that's for sure. Just wait until your grandmas find out about you! Besides us, the only people who know are my doctor's office and some sales girl at Baby Depot. It's not that we're not excited about you, we're just siding with caution until we see that wonderful heartbeat of yours. (Also, copies of an ultrasound printout gives everyone something tangible to hold, as opposed to your poor momma's belly, which is little more than bloat and too many cheeseburgers and fast food burritos.) They will be over the moon excited, believe me. My mom, your--well, I'm actually not sure what you'll call her, has been sitting at the edge of her seat waiting to hear that you're on the way. You'll know her when you see her. She'll be the crazy lady sneaking into Labor & Delivery when everyone is under strict orders that it just be your dad in there with me. I kid, but not really. We might have to have your Uncle Philip as security detail. She'll also be the one wanting to hold you as much as she possibly can and bringing you gifts with no holiday or special occasion for an excuse. Your dad's mom will be equally excited. You're really a very lucky baby. You have wonderful grandparents who will love you so much.

I love you so much little Peanut of mine. You have no idea, kid. I feel so blessed to be your momma and I so look forward to exploring this world with you. We are going to have so much fun together, we really are.

Love,
Mommy

6 weeks!

2009-07-08T08:27:00.000-07:00

How far along? 6 weeks

How big is baby? About the size of a sweet pea!

Maternity clothes? Old Navy maternity jeans did not fit my big booty. I got a pair of capri pants from Kid to Kid for later in the pregnancy.

Stretch marks? Nothing new.

Sleep: Yes, please. It seems like it's all I want to do!

Best moment this week: DH teasing me about there being more than one Peanut.

Movement: By week's end, Peanut should be able to wiggle his/her feet and hands, but nothing I can feel. I still have the stretching cramps.

Food cravings: Mexican food. Cheese. Nachos. Yum. I no longer like hotdogs.

Gender: I'm thinking girl. I'm actually thinking there could be two in there, but that's probably just DH's influence. If it's twins, we'd love to have one of each.

Labor Signs: Nope.

Belly Button in or out? In and deep, the usual.

What I miss: my brain cells. Have you seen them?

What I am looking forward to: First u/s in less than 3 weeks

Weekly Wisdom: Sleep whenever possible. Don't worry about having a bad day emotionally--hormones are a powerful thing. Stretchy waistbands are wonderful.

Milestones: Peanut's facial features are forming!

3 weeks until first u/s!

2009-07-07T08:49:00.001-07:00

Exactly 3 weeks from right this moment, we'll be at our first u/s. I absolutely cannot wait :) (We also found out about Peanut exactly 2 weeks ago.) Hopefully the next few weeks will go by quickly. We've kept pretty busy so hopefully that trend continues.

I just have to say this: I. am. exhausted. I fell asleep around 8:45 last night and I'm still tired. I'm also catnapping during lunch, but it's doing little to help. I simply have no energy.

Also, DH is speculating that there's more than just Peanut in my belly...and I'm not talking about my food baby. He's thinking 2 or 3, but I think it's mostly to tease me. I think if he turns out to be right at the u/s, he might fall over.

The bloat is really something though. It's going to be difficult to distract people from the growing bulge. Perhaps my ample bosom will do the trick. I need new bras, come to think of it. My current ones now dig into my skin. My boobs aren't really sore anymore, but my nipples are another story. I do check them several times a day to be sure they're as sore as previously observed. I've been told this is perfectly common abnormal pregnant woman behavior.

Nausea is getting worse. I now sleep with a bucket on my side of the bed. I haven't had to use it, but it feels as though I will need to soon. It seems to come on later at night and sometimes in the morning.

Oh yes, and the stretching in the ute continues. I also have developed "dog nose," meaning I can smell everything. I also seem to be salivating more than ever before.

So now can I take a nap? Pleeeeeease?

Baby books are arriving!

2009-07-06T11:51:00.000-07:00

Finally :) Yes, we got 5 of them for the price of 1 basically, but stupid Media Mail takes forever. Baby Bargains will be there for sure, but I expect (and hope) at least 1 or 2 others will be there too when I get home. Yippeeeee!

In other news, I think I found a good stroller option. It's the Chicco Cortina Keyfit 22 Travel System and it's supposed to be great for tall parents so they don't kick the back wheels.

Oh and let's say Peanut has a twin in there, I'm liking this Contours Options Tandem Stroller. I think we'd skip to convertible car seats in that case.

Dear Peanut,

2009-07-02T08:54:00.000-07:00

Hi sweetie, it's Mommy. Again. So I've discovered a few things already about you, mostly relating to food. You don't like sweets. You are making me question my love of salmon. I had to force down the crackers w/ salmon and cheese your daddy made this morning because I couldn't bear to hurt his feelings. Also, last night you wanted brownies. Then you changed your mind and I felt unbelievably horrible for two reasons. #1-My stomach was grumbling in protest, thus making me queasy. #2-Your daddy had run out to the store specifically to buy eggs so he could make me brownies. I've also discovered that eating or drinking anything cold makes my teeth shiver. This has never happened to me before. I love ice water. The more ice, the better. Now, I'm afraid of having my teeth freeze and shatter, they have such a reaction. Also, you don't like Pepsi. Too sugary for you, dear one? And fries? Honestly, I'm now repulsed by the greasiness. They taste like feet. Okay and don't get me started on vanilla ice cream. It has no flavor to me anymore. It's not like you're taking my bad habits and replacing them with good either, by the way, though I appreciate your efforts.

So what do you like to eat? Cheeseburgers. Those massive steak burritos from the Mexican drive-thru. Sandwiches. Anything covered in melted cheese. And this morning, you're wanting eggs like no other. So I can deal with this. You need protein and calcium. Totally get it. Now, could you crave something healthy, like I don't know, salad? Fruits? Veggies? I plan to go food shopping tomorrow and I don't want to stock the pantry with 101 different kinds of queso dip.

I'd also like you to know that your mommy is officially fat. It's a combination of bloat and my food baby belly, but yeah. Fat. I really won't mind when I know it's you and not the Beef 'n Cheddar sandwich I made your daddy stop and get because they were giving them away free with a drink purchase.

Despite no longer having full control over what I want and like to eat and the fact that I look like I've just raided a bunch of fast food restaurants, I love you so much Peanut.

Love,
Mommy

5 weeks!

2009-07-01T08:36:00.001-07:00

Pardon the very unfashionable boxers. My Avs ones are in the laundry :) The mega bloat is in full-swing! Now, I should mention that I'm not a skinny girl to start (obviously)...I'm 6 feet tall and a "proportionate" weight I guess you could say.

How far along? 5 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Counting the ice cream I've had the past couple nights?

Maternity clothes? Nope. I ordered a pair of Old Navy maternity jeans because they were dirt cheap on eBay, but I hopefully won't need to wear them for awhile yet.

Stretch marks? Nothing new.

Sleep: With a side order of sleep, please. By mid-day, I really need a nap. I've been having trouble sleeping at night between getting up to pee and not feeling very comfortable for very long on each side.

Best moment this week: Ordering pregnancy books--if only they'd arrive! Also, everytime it hits me that I'm really having a baby, there's a joy that pours over me...AND finding out that Peanut's heart started beating!

Movement: The stretching/pressure has eased up a little, but is still there. Somewhat dull, but fairly constant.

Food cravings: Everything. I am constantly hungry. Once I start eating, I'm fine, but I have never been this ravenous about wanting food.

Gender: I'm leaning towards girl.

Labor Signs: Nope.

Belly Button in or out? In and deep, the usual.

What I miss: my energy.

What I am looking forward to: Still our first u/s on July 28th...can't wait to see that little heartbeat and our Peanut!

Weekly Wisdom: Naps are heavenly. Also, worrying doesn't help anything. Right now, all is well. All I can do is be happy and enjoy.

Milestones: Peanut's heart is beating!

5 week letter

2009-07-01T08:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Peanut,

Well, kiddo, you're officially 5 weeks old and we're onto the 6th week. Despite the fact that your daddy likes to tease that he can feel you kick, you're only about the size of a cucumber seed at this point, about 4-6 mm. You might be small, but you sure are mighty! You're constantly busy dividing cells to make up your kidneys, liver, heart, etc. (Speaking of your heart, it's beating now!) All of your hard work is exhausting to me. Literally. By early to mid afternoon, I'm desperate for a nap. I've started snoozing through half or all of my lunch break to give myself a boost of energy. It probably doesn't help that I'm not sleeping all that well at night. Right now, it's usually just one time a night that I have to get up to pee, but I'm also having a lot of dreams and I find I have to switch sides constantly through the night to stay comfortable. As far as the midnight...and sometime 2, 3, 4 a.m. potty breaks, I'm thinking I need runway lights to keep me from tripping over the dogs. I shuffled my feet into Annie last night and I've never heard that dog so angry.

You'll love the dogs, by the way. I kind of think there might be some jealousy on their end, but I also get the feeling that Gracie will be attached to you like glue. She's a momma's girl, definitely, and she's very protective of me, but she loves babies and is sure to be gentle. Oh yes, I can just see you crawling on top of our mammoth of a dog.

I get distracted easily and I'm already experiencing something they call "pregnancy brain." I forget things. A lot. I've forgotten my deodorant twice (don't worry, we made a stop at Target since it was a very hot day) and words and names seem to have fallen out of my head overnight. This, combined with my inability to stay awake for an entire day, is making me rather useless lately. I'm more than happy to loan you my brain cells and my energy as long as you promise to return them at some point, deal?

So it seems that the nickname Peanut is sticking! It makes it a lot easier so we don't have to constantly say his/her, s/he, and we can avoid calling you "it." Daddy loves to crouch down and talk to you and tell you he loves you. You might be surprised to find out you've already gotten your first email!

I should also let you know about some current happenings...besides you, of course. Our good friend, your Uncle Philip, is moving to Arizona for law school and will be living literally just down the street from us. This is great news because we'll get to see him all the time. The other awesome part of that is we'll have access to a 24 hour gym and pool just a minute or two away. This is very good news for your pregnant momma who #1 really needs to get some exercise (and it's 106 degrees out so too hot in my opinion to be walking outside) and #2 will really appreciate feeling "weightless" when I get a big watermelon belly. (The pool is heated year-round!) This also means that after you're born we'll have a pool very close to home that we can take you to!

We're also planning your first trip to Disneyland! Don't get too excited, I'll be just over 15 weeks pregnant at the time. You might be hearing some noises and my voice at that point though so don't be afraid of the cannons on Pirates or the repeating chorus of "It's a Small World." (Your daddy can't stand the latter.) We'll be going with your Aunt Sherry and Uncle Jason, two of our best friends, for my birthday. I should be feeling pretty good at that point. Oh and let me tell you, they have some gooood food there. I fully intend on splurging on funnel cakes and definitely a hot dog or burger in Frontierland drenched with that wonderful artery-clogging cheese sauce. Fries too. After all, the line for Splash Mountain can be pretty long and I'll be observing from the sidelines ;)

Well Peanut, 27 days until we get to see you. We can hardly wait! Snuggle in, little one.

I love you.

Love,
Mommy

Uh, thanks Madame Zaritska.

2009-06-30T11:10:00.000-07:00

The day you deliver, outside will be rainy. Your baby will arrive in the early afternoon. After a labor lasting approximately 10 hours, your child, a girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 14 pounds, 15 ounces, and will be 20-1/2 inches long. This child will have medium brown eyes and curly red hair.

I'd also love to know where she thought the red hair was coming from considering both DH and I have very dark brown hair. ::side eye::

In the world of Peanut...

2009-06-30T08:08:00.000-07:00

His/Her heart has now started to beat! I can't wait to see it/"hear" it at our first u/s. 28 days to go! I hope the time goes by quickly until then. The good thing about waiting until then to have it is that we'll be able to see a lot more. Peanut should be looking like an itty bitty person at that point. It's just hard to wait that long.

In other news, I got the shipment notification for books I ordered last Wednesday. Seriously, for being a "power seller," you're kind of slow. Will not be buying from Atlanta Book Company or whatever it is again. I was hoping to have it today or tomorrow. Oh well. We did get some smokin' deals on books. DH's pregnancy books should be here soon, along with Baby Bargains. That should keep me occupied! We're also stopping by Borders so I can get Breaking Dawn, the last book of the Twilight saga. I'm so excited to find out what happens, but then it'll be over. No more Edward. Boooo.

I'm going to start working on my 5 week letter to Peanut, which'll be posted tomorrow!

Hand over the food and no one gets hurt.

2009-06-29T09:10:00.000-07:00

I am hungry all the time. This is crazy. After this morning on BOTB, I would like that yummy sausage cheese dip with chips, my Mexican leftovers, and a big icy vanilla milkshake. I think Mexican food will be a pretty frequent craving with me. Not so much due to teeny tiny Peanut demanding it, but because Momma loves her some mild spicy food.

I'm also experiencing something very similar to severe PMS. A little irritability, but this time, mainly sheer panic. It lasted a few hours and is pretty much gone now, but that was horrible. I think it was a combination of things--probably hormones and the fact that I hadn't eaten all morning plus I did NOT sleep well last night at all. I've since downed some very bland saltines and am feeling much better. I also called DH and I just gave him the gist of what I'm feeling. Just telling him and saying it outloud made me feel better. It's just hard when no one else knows that I'm pregnant.

I didn't anticipate the thoughts that have come to mind since the BFP, including how having a baby will affect our relationships with friends who aren't married or don't have kids, the fact that we love to travel and how we'll swing finances and being able to travel, and even silly things like going to Disneyland for my b-day and being restricted from certain rides. I totally get it and I'm going to compensate with more yummy food while everybody goes on the "Big Thrills" rides, but it's still the feeling of isolation. We're not telling anyone until after the first u/s in 29 days, which means I'm having to have lunch with my mom practically every weekday and not tell her, talk to my best friend and not tell her. It's hard. I might talk to DH about at least telling my best friend and her husband. They'll more than likely be our picks for Godparents so it makes sense that they be involved from the beginning. I just really want to have someone to talk to that's not immediately involved like DH.

I'm really looking forward to our pregnancy books getting here. It'll be nice to have DH learn more about what's going on during the pregnancy. Tonight though, I think I need a laptop-free, chillin' on the couch w/ DH sort of night.

Oh yeah, and my head hurts. I'm absolutely lovely today.

Baby pictures

2009-06-26T16:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, so can you tell the not telling people thing has me obsessively posting?

I got to thinking about what Peanut will look like. Someone on BOTB posted that makemebabies.com website. The kids on there are just plain creepy. Here's pics of DH and me as babies! It'll be interesting to see how we mix :)

During lunch...

2009-06-26T14:59:00.000-07:00

I took a nap and when I got back to work, I had cake.

It was glorious. Life is good.

Growth spurt.

2009-06-26T12:01:00.001-07:00

In my boobs that is. Holy shiiit do they hurt and my regular wired bras are killing me. They feel like they're seriously bruised and my ribs hurt underneath. I've been doing the sports bra thing at home, but I might have to invest in some unwired varieties. Even my sports bras are getting small.

Apparently this is a good sign for breastfeeding, which is wonderful, but OWWWW!

I also feel like someone's shot me in the ass with a tranquilizer dart. Need nap now.

Pregnancy books galore!

2009-06-24T20:21:00.000-07:00

DH and I stopped in at Barnes & Noble to check out the pregnancy section. We're bargain shoppers so we merely did this so we could find the books we liked and then go online and get them dirt cheap. This is exactly what we did. Thanks to a half.com coupon, we got 5 books for under $20 w/ shipping. Not too shabby. Here's what we're going to be reading:

I'm really excited to start getting them in the mail and be able to read them. I read reviews and opted not to choose some books because they just seemed intimidating or looked too much like a boring textbook.

I'm having a baby. I still can't believe it.

4 weeks!

2009-06-24T14:56:00.000-07:00

*no bloat picture I'm willing to post*

How far along? 4 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: I fear the scale. I'll only get on it when forced at the doctor's office at my first appointment.

Maternity clothes? Nope, but I'm prowling eBay for bella bands. The bloat is out of control.

Stretch marks? Nothing new.

Sleep: I think I'm going to have to try to get more of it. Didn't sleep well last night at all.

Best moment this week: The BFP!

Movement: Besides the stretching cramps, just some upset tummy movements. Lovely.

Food cravings: Nothing really sounds good. It's hot out so something cold is preferable, but I'm afraid my stomach isn't too happy with anything I've been eating.

Gender: No clue. For the sake of the question, I'll say boy, but I really don't know.

Labor Signs: Nope.

Belly Button in or out? In and deep.

What I miss: my bed. Though that's because I'm at work, not because I'm pregnant.

What I am looking forward to: Our first u/s on July 28th. I can hardly wait!

Weekly Wisdom: Rest if you need to rest. Listen to your body.

Milestones: Getting a BFP!

And so it begins...

2009-06-24T14:00:00.000-07:00

The "I must have that" shopping urges that is. I very much would LOVE to find the shirt to the right in Colorado Avalanche of course for the upcoming season! How adorable is that?

Oh yes, and I bought the onesie off to the left on eBay. It was only $2.50 so hardly extreme, but still. My frugal side is screaming into a pillow ;) She knows what's to come.

4 week letter

2009-06-24T08:19:00.000-07:00

Dear Peanut,

Well kiddo, it's official. You're an embryo! You've been awfully busy in there and even though you're only about the size of a poppy seed, you're starting to develop all of your organs, which is absolutely amazing to me.

Your daddy and I just found out about you yesterday so you could say the past 24 hours have been pretty surreal. I should tell you that your daddy likes to tease me and refer to you as "Sasha." This is his top choice for a name and has been for years, however, I vetoed it long ago. (He also vetoed a few of mine.) I only mention because while right now it doesn't matter because you can't hear us, when you do start to hear our jarbled words (and probably some singing), I don't want you to have a complex since personally I associate the name with female figure skaters or Golden Retrievers. At my request, he has started referring to you as "my peanut," which would be a quote from Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean. You might get to listen to the movie while you're nestled in my tummy, but otherwise, it'll be quite a while. I think a lot might be too scary. We adore Jack though so it's definitely a term of endearment.

I'm still trying to find a nickname that sticks for you. I think it'll come to me over time. For now, you're my little peanut.

I will say that I had a cautious inclination that I was pregnant before I even took the test. Evidently all your growing and dividing translated into quite a few symptoms for me, including a lot of pressure in my tummy, a lot of queasiness (we had to make an emergency stop at Circle K for saltines this morning) and some other things that you'd probably rather not hear about. I am very bloated at this point so I'm sure when I stopped off at BabiesRUs yesterday, I looked a little further than I am. I don't mind. I can't wait to have my belly grow because it means that you're growing.

The reason for the stop at BabiesRUs was to find a present for your daddy. We've been buying things here and there for awhile. Okay, so me moreso, but your daddy did buy you a Colorado Avalanche baby blanket. I found a cute onesie to give him. I tried to go gender neutral, but my options were surprisingly limited. It's a light blue onesie (hey, I'm a girl and blue's my favorite color) with a dog and puppy on it and says "I love my daddy...and my daddy loves me." I also found a "My 1st St. Patrick's Day" bib on Clearance because, believe it or not, you'll be here before then next year!

Speaking of that, besides Christmas, it's our favorite holiday. Being 50% Irish, your daddy takes his heritage seriously. In fact, soon after we started dating, he asked me about my freckles, if it meant Irish heritage. Well, the answer to that is no. I'm actually 90% Dutch, 10% English. He was just relieved I'm not French honestly. So anyways, even though I'm not Irish and you'll be just 1/4 Irish, St. Patty's Day will always be a festive day at our house.

I feel as though I'm rambling a bit, but there's just so much going through my mind. I keep trying to picture what you'll look like--inevitably dark-haired and if you're like your mommy, will a full head of it at birth. I wonder whose eyes you'll get. If you'll be laid-back like me or meticulous like your daddy, if you'll be stubborn like, well, both of us, though I probably take the cake on that one. I can't wait to see your heartbeat, to feel you kick, to talk and sing to you, and I get teary-eyed thinking of holding you for the first time. Oh my goodness, kiddo, how much you're loved already.

So nestle into my belly and keep on growing for the next 36 weeks.

I love you.

Love,
Mommy

I'm pregnant!

2009-06-23T09:38:00.000-07:00

So I really was going to wait to test. Then the sore boobs got worse, I started to feel pressure in my stomach, and I was very queasy.

I tested using a FRER last night, set it on the counter, read for a few minutes (since I'm obsessed with the Twilight series), and came back. There was the faintest of faint lines. I doubted what I was really seeing. I ran out to Target and got a pack of Clearblue Easy digital, since I didn't want to struggle with the "Is it a line?" fiasco.

This morning, I got up early, managed to PIAC without peeing on my hand and waited. And waited. When they say 3 minutes, they mean it! The hour glass was flashing and making me so nervous I tried not to look at it. Then...

Sorry for the poor quality, I took this on my cell phone.

I crawled into bed with Brady, who was shockingly still asleep. He was snoring in fact. As soon as I put my head on his chest, he jolted awake. The first thing out of his mouth was "I love my Twinkie." (That's his nickname for me.) I told him that I love him and he playfully started his "I love you so much more" thing. So then I told him I took the test. His response: "It was positive?!"

Wow.

I have no other words. I'm in shock and I feel so many emotions rushing through me. I called the doctor and have my first ultrasound scheduled for July 28th! Wow, that doesn't seem very far away :)

Umm..OWWW.

2009-06-22T15:43:00.000-07:00

I have sworn off phantom symptoms, but I cannot ignore the fact that my stupid boobs hurt like hell. Seriously body, we need to have a chat. You completely screwed with me previous cycles, gave me pretty charts, and then dropped me on my head. Make up your mind and get your act together. If the fact that my boobs are so sore I'd like to remove them is because I'm carrying a teeny tiny person, then that's one thing. Just don't mess with my head. Seriously.

Other than my sore boobs, I've had pretty bad headaches this weekend and today, and I'm very tired. Oh yeah, and I'm having very vivid dreams. The dreams could be the culprit of being tired, come to think of it, but whatever. This is my 2WW and I'll imagine phantom symptoms if I want to.

I want to POAS, but I will not until AF is a no-show. I O'd early, but my temps, CM and everything were so concrete for that date. I'm not second-guessing it like other cycles. AF is due tomorrow or Wednesday.

Then again, if my temp spikes tomorrow, I might POAS in the morning since DH is taking the day off and I can maybe call in sick.

Shiit, how can I be so afraid of a stupid pee stick?